So this afternoon, after I drop off my video, The Kite Runner (which I highly recommend by the way) at Safeway in the return slot on the front of the little red box. You’ve seen them, the red box that spits out the video you want with the swipe of a credit card and then sucks them back inside a day later and even remembers my name and sends me a receipt by email – scary, but I digress. The point is the wind was blowing like a banshee and all these little fluffy things are falling off the trees like snow and they must be full of pollen so my eyes puff up, tears begin to fall and I am sneezing like a dwarf. I get wary looks from the Safeway shoppers leaving the store who either think I am a very sensitive guy still impacted by The Kite Runner or they think I might be contagious – nobody else with allergies is dumb enough to have gone out. After I stop sneezing long enough to drive again I zip over to the Natural Foods store where I like to buy some of my food. It’s the first time that I felt a general air of acceptance in that store. People smiled at me. It took me a while to figure it out because my sort of white-guy, middle-class-ness has always been rather skeptically observed there as if I might be leaking chemicals from my pores…I digress. So, I am wandering around catching knowingly friendly looks and perusing cheese that costs more per ounce than gold when it occurs to me why I am suddenly so accepted here…my pollen besotted eyeballs closely resemble that bongo playing Rasta man I saw once at People’s Park in Berkeley. So now I am self-conscious that everyone thinks I’m here to buy snacks for some bong party where they’re burning some serious doobage so I keep commenting loudly to people how windy it is and how many fluffy things there are being blown around…not sure that was really changing anyone’s approving pre-conceptions about the bloodshot orbs weeping on each side of my nose. So,…I digress, my point is that here I am now, hours after my trip to the store, and I can’t find my cookie. I know I carefully selected one, it was a really huge – natural and organic – a chocolate chip mega-cookie… or I thought I did – no doubt adding to my fellow patron’s nostalgia – yet now, no cookie here. I even checked my receipt and no cookie there either. How does that happen? It’s like socks that get lost in the wash or that email that never came back, but never arrived either. Where do these things go? Is there some cosmic lost and found out there where we could go to find our stuff? Is my cookie languishing there? Couldn’t we build a red box and put it in Safeway and it could read my credit card and charge a small amount – say a nickel – for a lost sock, or a dime for a lost cookie and then it could spit it out. It could even send an email telling you to come collect your sock. Could some techno-guru get on that please, I’ve nothing for desert here and I don’t dare go out in the wind.